Estimated Reading Time: 12 mins
Introduction
Have you ever had the type of day that shifted your mood so significantly you didn’t feel you’d recover?
Whatever it is that’s taken place has been impactful enough to alter our temperament and dampen our enthusiasm, interrupting the stability of our wellbeing.
The downs of life are to be expected, but what do we do when they occur?
How do we protect our peace, our focus, and the state of our wellbeing amidst the onset of tribulations and overwhelming stress?
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Whether it’s work related, relationship conflict, an unexpected bill, or something that someone said, there are countless events in life that can destabilize our peace.
For some of us, a season of calm can feel suddenly disrupted by unforeseen circumstances.
For others, life’s problems may appear to arrive in clusters.
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Whichever way they happen, the underlying concern is how their impact changes our experience of the day.
I, like you, are not immune to life’s obstacles.
However, there is an approach I’ve learnt to implement over time that I’d like to share, trusting it will lessen the effect of any disruptive days you experience in future.
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Feeling the Brunt of It
I remember having information relayed to me that had been said by someone in my inner circle and admittedly, it was painful.
Their comment caught me during what was already a particularly tough time.
I had been horribly sick for a week, suffering from a bout of disrupted sleep — both of which caused some instability in my mood.
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Receiving this news when I already felt weak and emotionally exposed, made its effect more substantial.
Even though I didn’t agree with their opinion, I found myself growing increasingly frustrated as the day went on.
However, I was most annoyed by the complex nature of these ‘whispers’.
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Although I wanted to air out my feelings, it wasn’t simply a matter of discussing my concerns with the source, which is typically what I would have done.
To do so in my current state would ignite extreme tension, jeopardising several relationships in the process.
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So, my day had gone from bad to worse in what felt like a matter of minutes — at least, that’s how I perceived it at the time.
I did my best to carry on as normal, but it wasn’t just the comment I couldn’t shake.
My mood had momentarily descended into a seemingly dark space.
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Overthinking the problem as it appeared in that moment led to an intense shift that felt gripping.
The more I dwelt on the negative aspect of events, the worse I felt, and the more my day spiralled.
Thrown off my usual state of calm and sense of gratitude, I wondered how I might possibly recover.
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When Fire Meets Water
Whatever it is you’ve been through today, one thing is probably true.
You’re likely feeling disheartened, upset, frustrated, stressed, nervous, or even angry.
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The difficulties we face will meet us all at a position we share universally, in that we’re human.
No matter how well we train the mind, we can almost never prevent ourselves from feeling what we feel at the onset of certain experiences.
Although I expressly emphasise the need to exert strategic behaviour ahead of our feelings, we can still create the space necessary to process our emotions adequately.
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That way, we honour valid feelings without giving them the opportunity to take lead position.
In turn, we avoid plunging our lives into a subconscious state of negativity driven by impulsive reactions.
Think of it as creating a safe environment for a controlled detonation.
If you’re wondering what I mean by this statement, I’ll soon explain.
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Taking the Strategic Turn
The problem, the event, the conflict, and the strenuous situation, are all external contributing factors.
Although they can influence how we feel, they do not have the power to determine what happens next — we do.
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The overriding issue with challenging times is the uncomfortable emotions they bring.
Responding effectively, however, should always be our priority.
But how do we navigate through instances where emotions grow overwhelming?
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In the personal reflection I’ve shared, this was the exact problem I faced.
I would usually exercise resilience, but on this occasion, directing my focus felt almost impossible.
Overcome by emotion, I felt incapable of responding effectively.
Although my feelings were valid, I later recognised that they needed to be given adequate space without compromising my wellbeing further.
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Room to Breathe
I’d like to return to the concept I mentioned earlier.
Creating a safe environment for controlled detonation.
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If we think about it in literal terms, when we’ve seen suspicious packages flagged as life threatening, the safety of the public is always prioritised first.
Following that, a specialised team are then deployed to either diffuse the explosive or to detonate it within a contained environment.
The objective is to eliminate harm or threat to life, and to greatly minimise the impact of collateral damage.
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The perspective I want us to apply moving forward, although not identical in a literal sense, bears familiarity.
What I mean by this is sometimes it’s necessary to strategically dedicate allotted time to processing negative emotions.
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Using my previous example, I decided that since I was struggling to move past my feelings, I would sit with them — but do so with tact.
I set aside any plans previously scheduled for the day and decided to take an impromptu break, keeping the rest of the day for myself.
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Acknowledging how I felt, and creating space for the unravelling of raw emotion wasn’t an admission of defeat, but a means of sufficiently handling what I was experiencing.
Aside the emotional detonation, reciting Biblical scripture in the stillness helped settle my state of mind.
This combination of outlet and spiritual refilling offered a moment for meaningful reset, helping me avoid impulsive actions that might lead to self-sabotage.
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At the start, I was worked up, frantic, and agitated.
By the time sleep arrived, the pressure had been greatly alleviated, and I was mentally preparing myself to resume ‘business as usual’.
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Reframing the Problem
What had been said about me wasn’t malicious — it was a possible truth that cut deeply.
The way I processed the information was compounded by my state at the time.
To retain my peace, I needed to realign my emotions, remembering who I was and who I wasn’t.
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My ultimate objective was to prioritise a return to my usual state of calm.
By doing so, I could continue strengthening the consistency of applied agency I was building into my core behaviours.
To achieve that, however, it was essential to dedicate time to myself and recharge my spirit.
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Recalibrating Our Reaction
When we’re thrown off course by intruding circumstances, giving space to our emotions must be strategic so we don’t fall prey to spiralling without limit.
By allocating a set amount of time, we subconsciously prepare ourselves to move forward.
For example, if we give ourselves 48 hours to process how we feel, we’re likely to plan next steps and look ahead as that timeframe draws to a close.
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The time restraint forces us to engage in activity that gradually redirects our focus, bringing us back to a place of stability.
We’ve offered adequate space for the upset, frustration, and dissatisfaction.
We’ve also decided that by setting a limit on our emotional expression, we won’t carry those emotions forward.
Just like a controlled detonation, our feelings are given the space to safely unravel, minimising the impact to our wellbeing and environment.
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Having a bad day won’t occur frequently and even difficult seasons are rarely permanent.
Equally, the emotions we feel are temporary and should always be treated as such.
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This is why the approach I’ve explained is so important.
When our emotions become overwhelming, we should take specified time to process them.
The time limitation is key, and is how we ensure we don’t remain stuck in a descending frame of mind.
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Summary
Taken in its entirety, this technique is how we prevent a bad day from lingering or turning into an unanticipated dark season of life.
By feeding ourselves with the Word of God, we strengthen our spirit, fortify our faith, and inspire a recall of past victories, all contributing to an uplifted mood.
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Things may feel bad today, but if we can put this approach into action, we’ll protect our wellbeing and always restore our sense of peace.
The problem may have caught you off guard, but never allow anything or anyone to dictate or influence how you carry yourself long-term.
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Determine the route your wellbeing takes by strategically tending to your emotion, so you regain the ability to confidently navigate your life’s path.
These things I have spoken unto you, that in Me you might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33
