Estimated Reading Time: 11 mins
Introduction
When it comes to working life, this has arguably been one of the most difficult areas to navigate alongside the condition.
I’ll use my own experience to illustrate what I mean.
On my good days, I’m energetic, productive, creative, confident, and highly efficient.
During the PMDD weeks, however, I would lose that sense of self and become increasingly withdrawn.
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Working in groups, taking the lead, or being assertive, became particularly challenging due to heightened anxiety.
The extreme contrast between these differing versions of myself would both baffle and frustrate me.
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The Workplace Disconnect
High levels of stress in the workplace can be uncomfortable for anyone.
For those of us with PMDD, however, it can be particularly draining and often intensifies the negative emotions we experience during that time.
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In my own experience, this struggle left me feeling inadequate and questioning my capabilities.
Negative thoughts would constantly circulate through my mind.
“Why did I apply for this job? How am I struggling this much? Why can’t I just be normal?”
As the mental strain intensified, the effectiveness of my work would fall prey to the influence of these internal uncertainties.
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Despite the above, I became adept at presenting a composed exterior — putting on a brave face over my conflicted state of mind.
Although this helped me get through the difficult weeks at work, it often came at a cost.
It left me feeling drained and emotionally depleted.
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Feeling Out of Place
When a woman with PMDD is experiencing severe emotional distress, feeling obligated to act “normal” only serves to further compromise our wellbeing.
Navigating an environment that comes with its own pressures is difficult enough.
When we’re surrounded by people who struggle to understand what we’re experiencing, it can feel even more isolating.
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During our worst days, we may find ourselves craving quiet, private spaces that feel safe.
We desire the freedom to express our emotions without fear of judgement — a need that can’t always be understood by others.
What I experienced is why I came to appreciate the value of remote working.
It offered the privacy of an environment in which I felt I could better manage my condition.
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I am grateful that most workplaces, at least in the UK, now place increasing importance on employee wellbeing and mental health.
And rightly so, given the pressures many people face from financial commitments and the broader economic climate in general.
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As positive as the growing focus on mental wellbeing may be, many people still feel compelled to suffer silently.
The lingering stigma surrounding mental health continues to hold many back.
Could being honest about my struggle change how others see me?
What if opening up affects my career?
What if making myself vulnerable comes back to hurt me?
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These were some of the same questions I wrestled with when it came to my condition.
Fearful of how others might react or what they might think, I kept my struggles to myself for many years.
The thought of jeopardising my financial stability only intensified the anxiety caused by PMDD, so I continued to wear the mask.
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The Battle Behind the Desk
For a long time, before I began making changes, I actually found it difficult to remain in one job for any significant length of time.
If things became too overwhelming, I would often leave prematurely.
Such decisions were always made during the height of my PMDD symptoms, when emotions were at their most severe.
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Because of this, there’s one message I consistently emphasise in much of my content.
Avoid making major life decisions when the condition is at its most intense.
They are likely to be driven more by emotion than reason.
This can lead to regret once the symptoms subside, as I learned one too many times.
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The Conflict Within
Career aspirations can often feel inconsistent for those of us living with the condition due to the fluctuations in mood we experience.
Many of my own ambitions were brought to a standstill.
Moreso because I found myself frequently bouncing between my usual nature and my PMDD Alter Ego.
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Eventually, I was solely focused on surviving each month, and naturally, my career aspirations took a back seat.
Today, however, the daily work I do to train my mind has completely changed my perspective.
Rather than dwelling on what I haven’t achieved in terms of my past career or education, I focus on what I have.
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The growth achieved internally, enabled me to remain in subsequent roles for years at a time.
Looking back, I got comfortable settling into a role because simply coping with the condition felt like an achievement within itself.
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My priorities were very different back then.
Rather than relentlessly pursuing my ambitions, I focused on creating a life that felt more manageable while learning to live with PMDD.
As things improved, however, a desire to work for myself began to emerge.
In time, and through all the suffering, I ultimately discovered my purpose.
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The Impact of Speaking Out
There’s something I came to realise later.
What we often perceive as weakness can in fact, become a source of strength.
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During my time at two previous places of employment, I was already learning how to better manage and navigate my condition more effectively.
For the first time, I even disclosed my condition on an application form, something I had always avoided in the past.
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By stepping out in faith and speaking openly about it, I realised I had been presented with an opportunity.
It was a chance to raise awareness among people who had never heard of the condition before.
Similarly, I realised I could become a voice for other women.
While my reach may not have been global, I knew the impact could still be meaningful.
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Later, during my employment, I found opportunities to speak about the condition with colleagues, quickly realising that almost no one had any knowledge of it.
Some of my female colleagues listened intently and would later approach me privately.
They came with questions, wondering whether PMDD might explain experiences they could otherwise not understand.
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As I continued raising awareness, I was eventually invited to participate in a workplace podcast.
It focused on women’s health, and I was asked to share more about PMDD.
Looking back, had I kept my condition hidden as I always had before, I would never have been able to offer the representation that I did.
In turn, it improved my experience at work by fostering greater understanding and empathy among those around me.
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From Silence to Support
Work doesn’t have to feel daunting, and you certainly don’t need to put yourself in the spotlight as I chose to do.
What you do need to do, however, is prioritise your wellbeing and never suffer in silence.
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If you’re finding work particularly difficult during your PMDD weeks, consider speaking to someone in confidence.
Ideally, this could be your manager, a member of your HR team, or a wellbeing champion if your organisation has one.
Although confidentiality should be respected as standard, it’s always worth requesting that the conversation remain confidential.
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If you feel it would be useful, consider sharing this blog.
Sometimes hearing the same message from a different source can reinforce what you’re trying to communicate.
You deserve the right support in the workplace, yet many people are unable to provide it simply because they don’t know what you’re going through.
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Summary
Speaking out can help us gain the support we need.
If that support isn’t available, or if we’re met with reactions that worsen our experience, it may be time to reconsider whether the role remains the right fit for us.
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I’ll leave you with this final thought.
Whatever you’re facing, don’t suffer in silence.
The condition is not your fault.
You deserve to be treated with the same dignity, compassion, and understanding as anyone else.
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Support is available so don’t be afraid to seek it.
Use your voice when it comes to your wellbeing, because your life matters, your experiences are valid, and you belong here.
To hear me provide further insight into the realities of living with PMDD in the workplace Click here.
