Estimated Reading Time: 9 Mins
Introduction
When you’re experiencing PMDD symptoms, making rational decisions can be extremely difficult.
This continues to be one of my biggest challenges with each monthly episode.
Below are a few examples of the situational questions I’ve faced throughout my PMDD journey.
Should I, or shouldn’t I?
Do I simply want this, or do I need this?
Is this my person, or am I just settling for convenience — and are my feelings for them truly what I believe they are?
Do I genuinely feel this job isn’t right for me, or are my symptoms distorting my perception of what’s really happening?
Image by lookstudio on freepik
Decision making when you’re a woman who experiences PMDD can affect all areas of life.
Some degree of emotional fluctuation is to be expected when facing life decisions, such as uncertainty or brief bouts of anxiety.
For those of us with this condition, however, these emotional responses become far more heightened during our symptomatic days.
Image by vecstock on freepik
When we lean into the intensity of emotionally charged symptoms while making important life decisions, we risk altering our lives dramatically — and not in a good way.
Before I began fighting the condition, my life was unhinged.
Image by freepik
Work-Life Decisions
Life decisions that arose during my bad weeks were often met with impulsive, reactionary choices that later proved detrimental.
You may have heard me cover this in one of my previous posts ‘PMDD & Finance’, where I detail how my financial status spiralled due to the impact of symptomatic led responses.
Along the way, I also came to realise how difficult I found it to maintain consistency in employment.
Image by DC Studio on freepik
Usual work stress during PMDD weeks would feel unbearable.
Unable to cope with the demands of my job, I would quickly sink into feelings of overwhelm, emotionally vulnerability, and a profound sense of failure.
For a long time, the effects of my condition made me feel a deep level of embarrassment.
Image by shurkin_son on freepik
Why was I struggling so badly to do things other people did with such ease.
Frustratingly, this struggle only occured during the worst of my symptoms.
Going through this cycle of despair each month would often lead me to the same inaccurate conclusion — that the job wasn’t for me.
And so, I’d leave and move onto the next only to eventually experience the above all over again.
The effects of the condition on my decision-making led to a very busy and fragmented CV.
Image by freepik
Relationship Decisions
Dating was particularly problematic for me.
As I shifted between being my usual self and enduring the full force of the condition, my perception of potential partners would also fluctuate accordingly.
One moment I’d admire everything about them and would think deeply on the joy they added to my life.
Image by freepik
During PMDD weeks, however, I’d feel an extra sense of emotional vulnerability.
I would take things deeply to heart, feeling intensely rejected, yet at other times become disproportionately irritated and emotionally detached.
Consequently, I didn’t desire a lifelong relationship, marriage, or kids — because somehow, I felt undeserving.
Image by stefamerpik on freepik
Minimal attachment situations began to feel like the safest fit, particularly where a potential partner’s availability aligned with my PMDD-influenced lifestyle.
It wasn’t healthy.
I was jeopardising connections with real potential and subconsciously inflicting hurt on others in the process.
The condition controlled the way in which I made decisions about my life, impacting my overall wellbeing as a result.
Image by freepik
PMDD-Friendly Perspective
Life with this condition will mean facing decisions repeatedly, often under immense emotional strain.
As I mentioned at the start, it’s probably one of the most challenging areas of life to balance with each episode.
So how do we implement effective and safe decision-making even when we’re experiencing our symptoms?
I want to share three approaches I use that I encourage you to consider moving forward.
Image by freepik
No. 1
I choose to perceive the situation as logically as possible, choosing an outcome based on how I would think if I weren’t experiencing symptoms.
- Essentially, we’re looking at things from a third party perspective and judging the situation as if it related to someone we love.
- This will take practice and resilience because it’s choosing to act in a way that disregards heavily influenced PMDD feelings.
No. 2
Do nothing.
That’s right.
If the symptoms are so extreme that I feel incapable of rational decision-making, I avoid making any decisions at all — not until I’m PMDD free.
- This has worked extremely well for me in the past, preventing me from making choices that would otherwise alter my life altogether.
- Whether it’s been financial, relationship based, work-related or the like — if it can wait, I’d rather do nothing in the moment than do something I’d later regret.
Image by benzoix on freepik
No. 3
Seek advice — from someone close to you who has a good understanding of the condition and truly values your welfare.
- Most people will confide in a third party regarding their life problems, but it’s particularly helpful for those of us with the condition to have someone we can rely on in our state of vulnerability.
- Personally, if I’m struggling with approach 1 or 2, obtaining the opinion or advice of a third party can be invaluable.
- Having someone who see’s things more clearly on my behalf, and who can advise me in a way that prevents me from jeopardising my life, goes a long way.
If you don’t have anyone you can rely on in this way, you’re always welcome to contact me.
You don’t have to struggle alone.
Image by freepik
Summary
Struggling with decisions when you have PMDD doesn’t make you weak, an embarrassment, or a failure.
We’re simply women put in a position where we’re forced to survive ourselves each month.
I know you may feel far from it, but that in itself actually makes you a hero in your own right.
Image by freepik
Most people suffer from bouts of depression, anxiety, and the like — we’re doing it every month.
You’re far stronger than you probably realise.
I’ve become someone I never imagined I would be, largely because of my ongoing battle with this condition.
Monthly challenges remain, but living with this condition has given me a depth of resilience that allows me to manage things many others cannot.
Knowing that, keeps me fighting.
Image by freepik
Leave your PMDD decisions of the past exactly where they need to be — in the past.
Focus on the today you and your journey moving forward.
Even if there are slip-ups along the way, don’t beat yourself up over them.
You’re living a life most will never experience.
For all you’ve endured, it’s time to make your life count — so let’s keep fighting.
