Estimated Reading Time: 12 mins
Introduction
I had a period in life where I became heavily addicted to smoking marijuana.
Some may argue that it’s not the worst substance, but for someone who had never engaged in drugs before, my experience was very different.
So, I’d like to share this aspect of my journey as an example of how life’s pains can guide us toward our purpose.
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When Coping Turns Costly
It began when I was around 30 years old.
I had lost someone I considered a brother, someone with whom I shared an incredibly close bond.
At the same time, my wellbeing was under constant strain due to my condition, PMDD.
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My brother was the only person I could confide in when I experienced the worst of my symptoms.
He had a way of making me laugh, even when happiness felt impossible.
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When he died, I was broken.
I had to carry the emotional weight of his loss, along with the ongoing symptoms of my condition — without him.
It all drove me to seek relief and that relief became marijuana.
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I tried to convince myself that my use was temporary.
Eventually however, I became enslaved to the habit.
It went from a short-term remedy to something that controlled my life entirely.
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I was smoking constantly and spending money I didn’t have, which only worsened my financial situation.
Outside of work, I was barely able to function.
I’d lie on the sofa, constantly high, unable to muster the energy to do anything productive.
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Although it felt like I was escaping my problems, the truth was, I was making them a lot worse.
My poor mental state contributed to toxic relationships, self-imposed isolation, and a serious lack of interest in life itself.
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Catalyst in the Chaos
My downward spiral continued to gain momentum until on one particular occasion I’d overdone it.
I had far exceeded my usual level of intoxication, slipping into the darkest and most destructive state of self-sabotage I had ever encountered.
As I sat in the ‘passenger seat’ of my own mind, like a lamb to the slaughter, it felt as though something else had taken control of my entire state of being.
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My spirit battled the compulsive urge to reach for a knife.
Outwardly, I felt like I wanted to end everything, but inwardly, my spirit being wanted to live.
I prayed asking God to save me from myself.
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As horrific as the experience was at the time, it became a pivotal moment.
It was the shock my system needed, and the catalyst that ignited change in my life.
Confronting the state that my life had now become provoked a shift in my perspective.
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Uncovering Hidden Places
In hindsight, the issue wasn’t the marijuana.
The real problem lay in the unresolved wounds at my core that subconsciously shaped my thinking, my choices, and my life.
I carried unresolved childhood trauma, untreated pain, rejection, and resentment.
All of it was compounded by a condition that ran riot.
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I had been using the temporary highs of marijuana as a means of escape.
Once my life reached that breaking point, I realised I had to make a decision or life would make one for me.
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I began rebuilding from my foundation.
Courageous enough to finally address what I had long kept silent and the experiences I had spent years trying not to remember.
By combining prayer and therapy with a renewed perspective on faith and intentional action, I began reestablishing a healthier mental baseline.
With that renewed grounding, I could cultivate the person I was always designed to be.
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Core Beliefs, Core Results
It’s not the contributing factors, such as substance misuse or other environmental conditions, that mentally enslave us.
The way we experience these external factors is merely a symptom of something deeper.
Our core beliefs.
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When we don’t define our own robust belief systems, the experiences and difficulties of our past can subconsciously dictate them for us — and often unfavourably.
In turn, these beliefs shape the way we perceive life, influencing our response management — the ultimate determining factor responsible for the quality of our outcomes.
As a result, directing our thoughts and actions with optimism, while not impossible, just becomes far more challenging.
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Restorative Renewal
An undetermined state of beliefs leads to an unguarded state of mind.
This leaves us vulnerable to external influences, which can then shape our experience of life by default.
To better control our mental state, we cannot neglect our core beliefs, from which the foundation of our perspective is formed.
For better outcomes then, we must learn to renew and rebuild them from the root.
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Our memories of traumatic events will never disappear completely.
Our aim, however, is to significantly minimise their impact on day-to-day life.
This will require the kind of work that will strengthen our state of being.
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By doing the work required to become better than we’ve been being, we develop our mindset, build resilience, and grow in faith.
And it all begins with elevating our core beliefs through the renewing of our minds.
Romans 12:2 states:
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
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To function in the way God created us to function, we must set aside the influence of the world and lean on His principles for more fulfilled Kingdom living.
The devil’s aim is to keep us focused on lies that sound or appear to be the truth.
These include the lies others say about who they think we are or should be, the harmful influences of the world, and the false beliefs shaped by our past experiences.
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Summary
It’s time to move away from everything that produces the opposite of what God desires for us.
That includes destructive belief systems formed by our past.
We must upgrade our inner belief systems by practicing renewed ways of thinking and behaving that align with God’s Word.
These practices must become our normal way of life.
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That way, what we continuously believe and act on to be true becomes more important than what merely appears to be true, greatly influencing what will be true in future.
Over time, our commitment to growth will lift us beyond the pain of our past and lead us to a place of purpose.
Because in the end, it’s not how we start that defines us, but the way we choose to finish.
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Seasons of despair are never comfortable, but they can serve as the necessary wake-up call that leads us down the path we were always meant to take.
Every descent may feel like the end, but they will always offer an opportunity for exponential growth.
Trust God, embrace the learning, and step into your season of elevation from the ground up.
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee Isaiah 26:3
