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“You are what you think, all day long” Dr. Joseph Murphy
What you put in is what you get out, in other words, the thoughts you constantly think will manifest into your surroundings.
Aside my PMDD condition, I’d had days or periods in life where I suffered bouts of depression and anxiety. These mental conditions were a state of mind, triggered as an emotional response to something that may have occurred in my life at the time.
The cycle that would take place would be as follows. Something goes wrong, I react emotionally in a negative way, dwelling on the negative thoughts.
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The repetitiveness of this cycle, would in turn continue feeding that state of mind. The longer I’d keep this process going, the longer I’d feel depressed, anxious or both.
The brain is the most powerful asset we have and the way we think determines how life looks – to us. I came to realise that in many episodes of poor mental health, I was the trigger. To better explain, the way I would think was.
I didn’t know how to control my thoughts. All it would take is one negative notion crawling through my mind. I’d ponder on this thought, captivating it. Before I’d know it, I’d over catastrophise what I’m thinking until I’d eventually worked myself into a state. My actions would soon follow in close procession.
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Most people in the world have been through some type of difficult period in their life, myself included. Many of us have crumbled emotionally, or perhaps needed the aid of prescribed medication to help us cope with the difficulty.
What I wish I knew back then is, all it would have taken to press forward despite the bad experiences, is knowing how to control my thoughts, actions and subsequently, my emotions.
When we experience bad situations, many of us allow the evoked negative feelings to lead our life. My own experiences have taught me, this is probably the most ineffective way to live. Doing so, can cause impulsive decision making we may later regret, as an example.
Our emotions overall can be a little unpredictable. It’s what makes us human after all. How we feel, is usually influenced by what we see, sense or experience.
Negative emotions can take us on a rollercoaster but only if, we subject our mind and actions to them.
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Let’s say for instance, something has upset you and you naturally feel sad in that moment. What we tend to do without realising, and in most cases, is repeatedly remind ourselves that we’re sad over and over.
We then begin to act out what it is to feel sad. I, for instance, would curl up in my sofa feeling down and alone in the situation, whilst flooding myself in tears.
I’d proceed to download my life’s archives of catastrophes and remind myself of how unfortunate things have been in my life. I’d no longer have interest in activities that usually bring me joy. Abandoning my household responsibilities, I’d seclude myself indoors, and isolate myself from friends and family.
Destructive self-criticism would take control and I’d feel during this time, I deserve a sweet treat or other comfort food providing short-term gratification, with longer term consequences on my health.
This spiral would continue, worsening my condition and before I’d know it – I’ve become, what I’ve been thinking.
The above is merely an example of how, when led by our emotions, they can affect our outlook, surroundings, perception and quality of life overall.
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When we yield to negative feelings, we can easily and without realising, allow our thoughts to do the same dictating our actions. This feeds into the cycle of negative thinking and emotions, worsening our environment.
I’m not saying you should ignore your emotions altogether, that is unreasonable and probably impossible to do.
Rather, we must counteract the negative thoughts with positive ones and more importantly, positive actions. When we implement this response as soon as we’re able, they continuously feed into each other, redirecting our emotions to a better place. We therefore minimise the effects of a static negative mindset.
It’s what I term, the ‘conscious mindful defence mechanism’. It’s a process of positively training your brain aligned with relative actions consistently, so when emotional calamity hits, your CMDM kicks in.
You allow yourself to be human and feel the emotion, but you never resort to staying there. We visit, because we’re entitled to but most importantly, we leave.
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Practicing this has allowed me to restore myself back to a place of positivity and optimism at a quicker pace than in my past. It has indirectly lessened the potential ripple effects of bad experiences, and helped me maintain a more consistent quality of life. I published a Reel about this exact practice on my Instagram here.
Living well takes practice. It’s a process of learning how to master your willpower, and taking control of your perception, until you’re consistently seeing the glass as half full. Bouncing back in turn, becomes second nature and even when you fall, you’re never there long.
The thoughts you allow your mind to constantly process, will present in the way you are. Think positively, even if you struggle to believe it, think it anyway and support it with small positive actions. It may even feel a little delusional at first, but what we view as delusional, is only so, until it’s proven.
Think it until you believe it and to believe, you must keep thinking, and practicing it.
Remember, even the Bible states, ‘as a man thinketh, so is he’ – Proverbs 23:7.
