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Is it depression? Perhaps it’s a serious bout of fatigue?
This feeling you’re experiencing is something we all go through, feeling like we simply, for lack of better words – can’t be asked.
There’s no enjoyment in anything, we’d rather lazy around, watch our favourite shows, eat what we want and well, just be.
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It’s an unpleasant position to be in because even though we feel incapable of much at this time, our brain still reminds us of all the things we need to do.
The goals we said we’d work towards, the physical activity we promised we’d stick to, the cleaning we wanted to complete days ago, the draft business plan, and the list goes on.
But in this moment, the fact of the matter remains – we just don’t feel like we can.
This combination of feeling underwhelmed, coupled with our brain’s expectations of what we should be doing, can create a self-loathing mindset.
Slowly and subconsciously, we begin to despise ourselves making matters worse.
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As we continue to indulge this reluctant yet willing period of nothingness, the question then becomes when is enough, enough?
How long do we allow ourselves to loom in this atmosphere of nonchalant behaviour and defeatism.
It’s eerily comfortable yet equally destructive, providing a false sense of relaxation whilst slowly chipping away at our self-esteem.
It becomes so easy to drag on this lifestyle when you’re mentally drained or feeling unenthusiastic about much.
And the longer it continues, the more likely it is to spiral into something more serious like actual depression.
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So how do we save ourselves from the pit of ‘meh!’?
Well, if you’ve paid attention to my social platforms or other blog posts, I’m a major advocate for intentional actions that give no consideration to feelings.
Yes, it may sound extreme, but allow me to explain further.
Bypassing our feelings may seem to go against everything today’s Western society believes in.
My emphasis, however, isn’t that you ignore your feelings altogether. We should acknowledge them but it’s the way in which we deal with them that matters.
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What I speak of is that we do not act in accordance with how we feel but rather, we maintain a life of continuous, consistent positive actions which our feelings will then follow.
This way, we’re in charge of our emotions (and our life), rather than our emotions controlling us, and affecting our quality of life.
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Here’s a personal example.
I felt particularly tired and had no energy at the point of me starting this post. Writing a blog post was the last thing I wished to do in the moment.
It had been a difficult day brought on by some bad news.
I was feeling disheartened, upset, and immediately lost my usual energetic aura.
Despite my lack of willingness and/or enthusiasm however, I decided to get onto my desktop and get writing anyway because I’d learnt to disengage particularly, from negative emotions.
My post needed writing as they do each month – a target I set for myself. So despite all the upset, I got on with it anyway.
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I lived in accordance with my emotions in the past and all that did was solidify an unpredictable lifestyle.
By taking intentional action despite my feelings, I’ve built a higher level of discipline, and my life has more stability and is more productive than it was in the past.
The next statement may sound slightly off the deep end but couldn’t ring truer to anything else I’ve heard.
Discipline – is freedom.
Sounds bizarre right?
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Well, when you practice a lifestyle of discipline as pertains to your health, diet, physical activity, social life, work life, personal practices, behaviours and the like you inevitably, free yourself.
This is because you’re no longer subjecting your responses to unreliable emotions guaranteed to change on a momentary basis.
Rather, your ability to stay disciplined helps keep your emotions in line, providing a deeper level of peace and mental stability i.e. freedom.
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So no, I’m not saying to completely ignore your feelings.
What you should do, is avoid acting impulsively in response to them because they are guaranteed to fluctuate.
If you allow your actions to follow suit, your life will constantly change in the same manner and your sense of emotional and mental security will constantly be under threat.
Allowing productive actions to lead your emotions will cause your output to remain steady and reliable, thus your wellbeing and mental health will also thrive and be more consistent.
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If you’re feeling ‘like rubbish’, taking positive intentional actions will slowly guide your emotions to a more optimistic space – so lead with actions by being disciplined, every time.
You may guess that as I continued writing this post that day, I felt better after working on it for some time.
I felt a sense of accomplishment despite the days setback and my mood ultimately shifted as a result – not quite 100%, but certainly better than it was initially.
The positive action I’d taken, reaffirmed my confidence in my ability to be resilient which not only made me feel better, it prevented the days’ negativity from worsening.
Life will always be filled with the inconsistencies of our circumstances, but in order to prevent our wellbeing from being dragged along with the uncertainties, we must remain consistent in our actions.
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Below is a task I want you to make a note of and put into practice any time you lose your mental energy and/or momentum and are tempted to slow down or bow out of your commitments, into behavioural patterns of despair.
If you’re currently experiencing a period of ‘life blues’, complete Step 1 today and action the rest tomorrow.
The reason for this is it gives you the space today to be in your feelings – to process them.
Be tired, upset, laze about, or even cry if you need to. It’s important to acknowledge how you’re feeling – we’re still human.
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Express the emotion in all its rawness but tomorrow when you wake up, it’s Day One.
A fresh start, a new beginning, another opportunity to tackle life head on because you’re capable.
When tomorrow comes, we won’t carry over today’s energy. No matter how we wake up feeling tomorrow, we proceed with Steps 2 & 3 below.
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Step 1.
(Do this today)
Write down x2 small goals and x1 medium-sized goal you’d like to achieve by the end of day tomorrow.
Feel free to write more but please remember to ensure your goals are realistic.
Below is a personal example of what I’ve done in the past:
- Incorporate a 10-minute continuous jog on the treadmill during gym workout (small goal)
- Read for 30 minutes – The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (small goal)
- Do a full clean of the Bathroom (medium-sized goal)
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Step 2.
(This is the challenging step)
Regardless of how you’re feeling when you begin, complete the goals you’ve written in Step 1 – no matter what.
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Step 3.
Record a voice note or video entry of your activity today and cover the below points of reflection in your recording (you can choose to do this in writing if you don’t have access to a smart phone).
- How were you feeling before you started your tasks?
- What you decided to work on i.e. the goals you set?
- How you felt after completing your goals?
- Your proudest moment of the day?
- A few words of encouragement to someone in the position you were in before you got started (if they were to hear your recording)
You may be wondering why a recording is necessary?
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Well, the next time you feel like negative emotions are getting the best of you and you’re slowly descending into blues-like behavioural patterns, I want you to play it back before repeating this task again.
It will serve as a diary note of reflection and encouragement from the past you, to present-day you.
You’ll be surprised at the impact it’ll have in those future moments when you’re feeling unenthused.
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I encourage you to put the above task into practice once a month.
Feel free to do it more often but to start, try to keep it light and achievable. It’s important that you do not overwhelm yourself.
After you’ve done it consistently for 6 months, try to increase the frequency (and the intensity of your goals), completing it 2-3 times a month.
Also, I want you to let me know how it’s going. So get in touch via any of the methods mentioned on my Contact page.
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The above is a practice I’ve lived for some years and continue to live. It’s how I’m able to stay so disciplined regardless of my life circumstances at any given time.
I work at happiness on a constant basis (because it is work) and I want the same for you. ‘Life Blues’ will always come and go but the one thing that should always remain consistent, is you.
We can live better, be happier and walk a life of freedom if we so desire it.
Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. 3 John 1:2
